


Do you mind?

by ki_writing



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Alternate Ending, Confessions, Cute, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Happy Ending, I Love You, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, might turn this into a series, rambly Oliver, rambly Oliver is v cute ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 10:59:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15459888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ki_writing/pseuds/ki_writing
Summary: Do you mind?Elio kept replaying Oliver’s words long after they finished the call. Did he mind? Of course he did. But how was he supposed to say this to Oliver?Hey, yeah, I mind. A lot, actually. Please don’t get married.That’s what he should have said, but didn’t have the courage to.





	Do you mind?

**Author's Note:**

> After this masterpiece by André Aciman and watching the film, I fell in love with the story and the characters – and finally managed to write a work of my own. This is mostly based off on the film, written in third person with POVs from both Elio and Oliver. 
> 
> PS. This is actually the first fic I ever write... I'm not entirely sure if it's good or not, but I hope it is!! Just give it a chance. Also, I'm sure there are other fics such as this one, but I just really wanted to lay it out exactly as I imagined in my head. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work using characters from André Aciman's 'Call Me By Your Name'. The story is mine – but the character's aren't. Also, for the first bit of the story, I used some of the film's (directed by Luca Guadagnino) dialogue.

He’d been back home after strolling in town, when the phone rang. Even though he was listening to some music, he heard the ringing. “I’ll get it,” shouted Elio, mostly to his parents who were in his dad’s study.

After the second ring, “Hello?”

“Elio? You there?”

Elio’s heart stuttered. He felt a shudder – and it wasn’t because of the cold. A subtle smile crept onto his face. “Hi.”

“Hey,” said Oliver on the other end of the line – all the way in the United States. He sounded happy to hear Elio’s voice.

“How are you?”

“I’m good.” Pause. “I’m good, how are you? How are your parents?”

“I’m good. They are good,” Elio couldn’t help but sound happy, hopeful even.

“Good.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Oliver said, sounding sad. It almost seemed like he was dreading something, like he was resigned, “very much.” Silence stretched for a little while. Then, “I have some news.”

“News?” Elio responded, if only a little confused.

“I–I’m getting married.”

Silence. In a split second, Elio felt like his world came crashing down. How could three simple words crumble him to pieces? He could have expected anything, anything but. Oliver was getting married? He had absolutely no idea that this was even a possibility. He didn’t know much about Oliver after all, he realized. Sure, he knew this amazing, intelligent, kind individual who turned his world upside down – in the best way possible. However, he didn’t really know much about the life Oliver led outside of Crema. Elio was dumbfounded. Before the silence could stretch suspiciously long, Elio answered.

“Oh, you’re getting married? I suppose…” He sounded as if he was on the brink of tears. _Get yourself together_ , he said to himself.

He hoped he didn’t sound as crushed as he felt.

“I might be getting married next spring, yeah.”

Elio’s breath quickened. He was struggling to keep the call going. “You never said anything.” Again, he was reminded of how little he knew about Oliver outside of that blissful summer spent together.

“It’s been on and off for three years,” said Oliver in a flat tone.

Elio shook his head in some sort of affirmation, until he realized Oliver couldn’t see him. “That’s wonderful news.” Regardless of what he felt at that moment, he considered that a wedding was always great news. Oh, but how he wished this wasn’t Oliver’s wedding to somebody else they were talking about.

“Do you mind?” Asked Oliver. His voice sounded a little weird, as if he was trying to conceal a hopeful tone. As if there was a part of him that wished Elio would say that yes, he minded, very much so. Elio took this as him seeing things that weren’t actually there; surely, his mind was playing evil tricks on him.

Of course, Elio minded, but he wasn’t about to spill his guts over the phone, much less throw a little fit that Oliver would regard as silly and childish. He bit his lip and didn’t answer. He let the silence stretch. He was hoping Oliver would interpret the silence as a form of objection. Suddenly, Mr. and Mrs. Perlman were on the line.

“Oliver!” They greeted. Elio just listened, still shaken by the news.

“Hey, hey, hey!”

“Darling, when are you coming back?” Asked Annella Perlman.

“Oh, I wish I was.”

Then Mr. Perlman spoke, “You caught us in the process of choosing the _new you_ for next summer.”

“And guess what? _He_ is a _she_ ,” said Elio’s mom.

By then, Elio moved the phone away from his ear. He felt terrible. He continued to listen to the onesided conversation that was provided to him by his parents speaking in the room close by, but shortly decided against it and continued to listen to Oliver speak through the phone.

“Oh, nice! Speaking of she’s, I’m calling to tell you guys I got engaged.”

“Ah, wonderful!”

“Congratulations! Congratulations, Oliver.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Suddenly, Mrs. Perlman chimed in, “Listen, we’ll leave you… we’ll let you speak to Elio.”

“Happy Hanukkah!”

Oliver wished Happy Hanukkah, too.

“Bye sweetheart.” After Annella bid farewell, Elio heard the other phone being put down. He could only imagine his parents’ faces, filled with sadness for him, probably a bit of pity thrown in into the mix too. 

“They know about us.” Elio decided to come out with it as it was.

“I figured.”

“How?”

“Well, from the way your dad spoke to me. He made me feel like I was a part of the family. Almost like a son-in-law.”

Elio remained silent, taking Oliver’s words in. He sure wished he was in fact his dad’s son-in-law.

“You’re so lucky,” continued Oliver. “My father would have carted me off to a correctional facility.”

Out of impulse, Elio started speaking, whispering, “Elio… Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio.”

He heard subtle moaning on the other side of the line.

“Oliver,” moaned the older man. Elio smiled, if only a little. “I remember everything.”

They had said their goodbyes, promising to keep in touch, even if both of them knew it would be difficult, considering their situation.

 _Do you mind?_ Elio kept replaying Oliver’s words long after they finished the call. _Did_ he mind? Of course he did. But how was he supposed to say this to Oliver? _Hey, yeah, I mind. A lot, actually. Please don’t get married._ That’s what he should have said, but didn’t have the courage to.

 

* * *

 

 

The call had been five weeks ago. Still, Elio couldn’t stop thinking about it. More times than he’d care to admit, he had been so close to picking up the phone and calling Oliver. Just to talk – talk about how he didn’t want the older to get married. But that was selfish, and Elio knew it. Maybe Oliver really loved this woman, and Elio was just a causal summer fling. But how could it have been _just_ a summer fling? Their emotions, their feelings for each other were almost palpable. It wasn’t just passion and desire, there was something hidden behind all the caresses, something that both were always scared to admit for it would make them all that more vulnerable. Regardless, they always thought they were being sneaky, hiding well – which clearly wasn’t the case, considering Mr. Perlman had known all along. But yeah, Elio knew nothing about Oliver’s relationship with this woman. He said they’d been on and off for a couple of years, and that about it. He knew nothing.

Elio was transported back to last summer, to that talk he had with Oliver, how he told him he knew nothing about things that really mattered. He wanted that summer back. He wished he could’ve frozen time, and just spent the rest of his life living that fateful summer with Oliver.

Elio was absentmindedly playing the piano, when his mother entered the room.

 “Elio? Are you alright, darling?” No response. “Elio? Hello?” Still nothing. Mrs. Perlman tapped her son’s shoulder.

“Huh? What?”

“What’s gotten into you? What were you thinking about?” Asked Annella, concern evident on her features.

“Oh. Nothing… just. I’m–just thinking about life. College next year.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the complete truth, either. Elio didn’t have it in him to lie to his parents, so he resorted to the half-truth.

Still, Annella knew he was hiding something. “Are you sure? Just that?”

“Yeah,” Elio hesitated. “Well–sort of. Not really.” His mom stayed silent, urging him to go on. “It’s just that… I miss Oliver. I wish he wasn’t engaged. I wish he wasn’t getting married. I–What… I don’t know what to do. I feel miserable, if I’m completely honest.”

“Oh, honey… I wish I could take your pain away, but that’s not possible, and maybe it wouldn’t be right, either. Everything that you’re feeling, it is helping to shape you as a person, making you even more mature, making you realize what is important and what can wait. Just remember to stay true to your feelings, and act on them if possible. If there’s something you need to get out, something you need to say to someone – be it your father, me, Oliver –, just do so. I know it is easier said than done, but this is the best piece of advice I can offer you. Just think about it.”

Mrs. Perlman knew very well that this was about Oliver, but he also needed Elio to remember that he could always talk to his parents about anything.

“I’m scared. What if things go wrong? What if talking to Oliver about this only makes things worse? Even if it hurts to just look at him, I don’t want to lose his friendship. I value it too much.”

“But what if it goes right? Are you willing to not act on the possibility of being happy?”

“I–,” Elio didn’t know how to respond to that. Mrs. Perlman continued, “Try to stop thinking about the what if’s, you’ll only be thinking about the worst if you do so. Concentrate on what you truly desire, on the love you and Oliver shared, still share. Isn’t it worth all the risks?”

Elio was speechless. Not only because he was shocked at the mention of _love_ , but also because his parents were so wise, so caring, so supportive. How did he get so lucky to be put into such family?

“Thank you, mom. I’ll give Oliver a call...”

“Good luck son, although I don’t think you need it,” said Annella, with a wink. _Is she on to something_ , Elio thought. He let it slide, and checked the time. It was currently 1:30 in the afternoon, which meant it was 7:30 AM in New York. Was it too early to call? Probably not, since Oliver was so accustomed to jogging early in the mornings. He hoped it wasn’t too early; he couldn’t prolong the anxiety he was feeling.

Elio took a seat on the chair near the telephone and, with a deep breath to try to tame his nerves, picked up the phone and started dialing. Of course, Elio knew the number by heart at this point. It rang, one, two, three times, until someone picked up.

Grunt. “Hello?” Came Oliver’s voice, rough with sleep. Elio loved Oliver’s voice in the mornings, just after waking up. The younger remained silent. Oliver cleared his throat. “Hi? Who is this?”

“Um. I–Hi…” Elio said timidly. He suddenly felt very shy, and sheepish for apparently have woken the older up.

“Elio? Is that you?” Any remains of sleep left Oliver’s voice, becoming aware of who was on the other end of the line.

“I–yeah, it’s me. Hello, Oliver.” Elio was very nervous. His anxiety only skyrocketed. He was second-guessing himself. He shouldn’t have called, especially not so early. He just realized it was in fact Saturday. Oliver probably went to bed late last night and was hoping to sleep in for a change. Elio was so stupid, he should’ve at least called later. Ah, _later_. Such an Oliver word. His mind was all over the place, but mostly he wished he hadn’t called. Suddenly, the older spoke again, breaking Elio’s train of thought.

“I’m so glad to hear your–,” Oliver cut himself off, coughing a little, “to hear from you.” Under his breath, barely audible, he whispered, “I’m always happy to hear from you.”

Elio figured it wasn’t meant for him to hear. He couldn’t help to smile a little. “Yeah, well… it’s me,” he chuckled nervously. “I really wanted to… hear your voice. And talk to you,” he admitted.

“I’m happy you called. I really am. Especially after, well. You know.”

“Yeah… about that…” Elio felt like his heart would explode. The last time he remembered being this nervous was that first night spent with Oliver. But that had been different.

Before the younger could continue, Oliver interrupted. “Listen… I–is this call to tell me that you want to stop talking? That you want nothing to do with me? Because I would understand. I mean, if I was you… I couldn’t have possibly acted as strong as I thought you did. I mean, to say “wonderful news”? Or maybe what we have, had, wasn’t as special to you… or was it? I don’t know. But please. Let me just… I’m… I’ll be… I won’t–shit. This wasn’t supposed to go like this.”

Elio was stunned at Oliver’s sudden outburst. He was rambling, that much was obvious. But Elio was confused. Oliver really thought this call was to cut all ties? What?

“Hey, hey, what? I’m not calling to break ties with you! I value our friendship, you, so, so much. I _worship_ you, remember?”

“I thought…” He exhaled a sigh, relief evident. He sounded exhausted.

“Don’t let your mind jump into conclusions before I’ve even started speaking. But… what ‘wasn’t supposed to go like this’? What are you going on about?”

“Shit. Fuck. Forget that. Please continue. What is it that you wanted to say?” He was trying, but failing, to change the subject.

“No… now you tell me. What is it?”

With a long sigh, Oliver responded, “I was meant to surprise you. This isn’t how this whole ordeal was supposed to go. But, well, seeing as my insecurities got the best of me and I blurted that mess out…” Oliver remained silent.

“Oliver! What is it? You’re making me more anxious than I was before. And that says a lot.”

“Elio… I promise I’ll explain myself soon. Two days’ time.”

“What? Why? In two days? Why not now? I don’t get it. And do you expect me to wait for two whole days? I can’t–,” he was cut off by Oliver.

“Because I’ll be in Crema in two days… and I’ll explain everything, I promise. In person.”

Elio was stunned. “WHAT?” Oliver… in Crema… in two days?

“Surprise…?” Oliver sounded sheepish, but Elio could practically hear the smile on his face.

“Why… what’s going on? I’m so confused. I mean, really happy, but very confused. I feel like I’m missing a vital bit of information here.”

“Listen… just wait. I’ll be there soon, and we can talk. Alright?”

“But I didn’t even get to say what I called you for in the first place!” Elio was practically pouting.

“Is it to say that you no longer want anything to do with me?”

“Of course not! I’ve told you already.”

“Then, can’t it wait? We can talk face to face in a couple of days.”

Elio pondered the proposition for a while. He did wait a couple of weeks already, and knowing that he would be seeing Oliver soon made those two extra days wait bearable. He would probably be more nervous facing this in person, but he was sure it wasn’t ideal to bear his soul and profess his love via telephone call. “…Fine,” responded Elio. “I’ll wait. But… wow. I wasn’t expecting you to come back at all after… yeah. Actually, didn’t you imply to my mom that you probably weren’t coming anytime soon? What changed your mind? Do you miss me that much?” Elio was teasing, but it hurt. Boy, did it hurt. He just wanted everything to be like it was last summer. He missed it. He was suddenly reminded of the wedding, which he still hadn’t said anything about. It’s okay. He would say all he needed to say in a matter of days. 

On the other end of the line, Oliver chuckled, “yes, actually. I miss you very much. You don’t even have a clue, Elio.”

“Oliver… don’t say things like that so… easily. It’s not fair.”

Oliver sighed, “I’m sorry. I’ve been causing you so much pain. I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I hope – am planning – to make it up to you.”

“It’s… it’s fine. And I miss you too. I’m glad you’re coming down to visit.”

“Me too. I’ll see you soon then, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yes. I guess I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye Elio,” said Oliver. It seemed as though he wanted to say more, but refrained himself from doing so.

“Goodbye, Oliver. Have a safe flight, we’ll be waiting for you.” With that, the younger hung up. So, Oliver in town again? He was beyond happy. He thought the next time he would be seeing him was when he headed to college in New York next fall, and even then, he wasn’t sure he was going to actually see him at all. Regardless of everything, this was great news.

 

After the call, Elio headed to the kitchen. Annella and Mafalda were talking while the latter was cooking. His mom saw him, and smiled warmly at him. “How did it go?”

“Well… I didn’t really get to say what I was hoping to say.”

“How so?” To her credit, Annella tried to feign surprise, but Elio could tell she was trying to hide a knowing smirk. Had she known something?

“Uh, Oliver said he was coming to Crema in two days’ time.”

“Ah, really? What a pleasant surprise, that’s wonderful!” She wasn’t surprised. 

“Mom… you knew, didn’t you?”

Mrs. Perlman smirked, “perhaps. Oliver may or may not have called about five days ago, asking if it was okay to come by and pay us a visit.”

Not for the first time that day, Elio was stunned. “What!? You kept this from me for _five_ days?” Now he was borderline offended.

“Calm down darling, Oliver pleaded for me not to tell you. It was supposed to be a surprise. Although, clearly, you found out,” said Annella, yet another smirk on her face.

“I can’t believe this. Did everyone but me know?” At this, Mafalda nodded, without looking up from whatever she was chopping. Elio whispered, “unbelievable.”

Then, realization dawned on Elio: it was his mom who encouraged him to call Oliver and talk to him, even though she knew he would be seeing him soon. That little wink from earlier made so much sense.

“Yes, Elio,” said his mom, answering the question he was yet to ask. “I sort of encouraged you knowing what would come out of it. I wanted to give you a heads up, without me unveiling the truth. I didn’t want you to be stunned speechless the moment Oliver arrived. I know you well, therefore, I know you probably wouldn’t know what to say, or how to speak your mind conveying exactly what you wanted, if the situation presented itself unannounced. And yes, I meant everything I said earlier. So now, you get to speak to him personally, with the opportunity to think things through and try to figure out how you feel, and how to tell him. Like this, you’ll be able to see his instant reaction, leaving no space for miscommunication or self-doubt.”

Elio smiled, “wow mom. You really thought this through… because you are absolutely right.”

Annella returned the smile. “I know my son,” she simply responded. She then resumed her chat with Mafalda.

Elio was quite pleased with the day’s events.

 

* * *

 

 

Today. Today, Elio was finally going to be face to face with Oliver again, after nearly half a year. He was delighted, but also extremely nervous. His mind was all over the place. What would Oliver say when he finally managed to blurt out that he didn’t want him to get married? Did he even have a say in the matter? Not entirely so. He did, however, have the right to voice his thoughts on the matter, right? Of course he did. He had to do this. At least, he needed to get it off his chest, and get rid of all those ‘what if’s altogether. He had nothing to lose.

Late in the evening, when Elio heard the rumbling of an engine outside of the house, he ran to the window. Surely, he saw the man he had been missing so dearly. He looked stunning. Nothing about him had changed – except for the clothes, that is. He opened the window, and the chilly December air made him shudder – although it could also have to do with the fact that he was seeing Oliver in the flesh. He quickly put on a sweater over his long-sleeved shirt, put on his Converse Chuck’s, and ran downstairs. Just as he made it to the first floor, Oliver entered the threshold. They looked each other in the eyes. Elio’s heart skipped a beat.

“Elio,” said Oliver under his breath. At this, Elio closed the gap between them with quick steps and continued to stare at him.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” he whispered, mostly to himself. 

Oliver smiled. Elio had missed his smile more than he initially thought. “Here I am.”

Then, suddenly, Elio threw himself into Oliver’s arms, and gave him a bone-crushing hug – which Oliver happily returned. “Oliver… I’m so happy to see you. Thank you for coming to visit. I missed you.”

“Elio, I missed you so, so much. You have no idea. Ever since I went back to New York, you never left my mind.” They tightened their embrace. Oliver’s eyes were closed, nose touching Elio's curls, breathing him in. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat. The older opened his eyes, to find Mr. and Mrs. Perlman smiling at their exchange.

“ _Cauboi_! I’m so glad to see you,” started Mrs. Perlman as she and her husband approached the pair.

Then Mr. Perlman got a word in, too. “Yes Oliver, we’re very pleased to have you back. How was your flight? Are you tired?”

Elio reluctantly let go of Oliver and stood beside him, just so he could comfortably talk to his parents. “The flight was tiring, but alright; the usual. It’s great to see you again Professor, Mrs. Perlman.” Elio’s mom made a face at that, which didn’t go unnoticed by Oliver. He chuckled before saying, “I mean, Annella.”

“Much better,” she responded. “It’s late, Elio, why don’t you help Oliver with his things and show him to his room?” She was smirking as she spoke. They were reminded of the fact that the younger’s parents knew about what had happened between them – which made both Elio and Oliver blush.

“Uh, yeah. Come on, Oliver,” said Elio, turning to the older.

“Well, we’ll leave you to it. Annella and I will be heading to bed now. We’ll see you both at breakfast. Goodnight boys,” said Mr. Perlman as Mrs. Perlman smiled knowingly at them. With that, they disappeared to their room.

“So. Your things–give me your suitcase, I’ll take it upstairs for you.”

“Ah, it’s fine Elio. I’ll do it. Thank you, though.” With that, Oliver started his ascent to the stairs. Elio followed suit. Something warm and bubbly erupted inside Elio seeing how comfortable Oliver was, how much he belonged here. He seemed so at ease navigating inside the house, knowing exactly where to go, where everything was, just as if this was his home, too  which Elio supposed it somewhat was.

Oliver went straight for the spare bedroom – the bedroom that was Elio’s for the summer.

“Hey, what are you doing? I’ll give you my room, you know, like before…”

“No, it’s fine, really. I’ll just be here for a week, it’s no use to change all of your things for such a short while,” smiled Oliver.

Elio’s mind was stuck in ‘ _a week_ ’. So little time. But what was he expecting? “Right. Okay, then. Settle in, get comfortable. I’ll bring some clean sheets and some towels.” Oliver just smiled and nodded.

While he was busy fetching the linen for Oliver, Elio’s mind resumed its racing from earlier. In one hand, it was very late at night, but in the other, he knew he needed to talk to Oliver immediately; he couldn’t wait until the next day, because then he’d wait another day, and then another one, and so on. He had a sudden surge of courage that led him back to the guest bedroom without retrieving the items he was looking for. When he entered the room, Oliver was nowhere to be seen. _Maybe he’s in the bathroom_ , he thought. However, Elio checked, and he wasn’t there. He decided to check his own room.

He found Oliver sitting on the edge of the bed, hands placed on either side of him atop the mattress, staring down. Elio could tell he was lost in thought.

The younger cleared his throat, “hey…” He was nervous.

At that, Oliver’s head shot up, a little surprised. “Elio. I–sorry. I was just thinking about last summer, and suddenly found myself in our–my old room.” Elio’s heart clenched at this.

“Listen,” Elio started, “I need to talk to you. We need to talk.”

“I know.”

“Yeah… well, it’s just that–,” Oliver interrupted Elio midsentence. When was he going to get his chance to get everything out?

“Listen, let me go first. I owe you an explanation, remember?”

Elio kept quiet, then sighed, barely audible. He could wait a little while longer, he guessed. “Sure.”

With a long sigh, Oliver went on with a start, “As I said before, this wasn’t how I planned things to go. But, well, here goes nothing.” He paused. “After… _that call_ , I was devastated. I always knew I had this wedding coming, but saying it out loud, for the first time, to your parents, _to you_? It made it real. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. Sure, I had been on and off with this girl for a little too long, but she never really meant anything to me – at least not as a partner, not as someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. This wedding, it was arranged by my parents. Actually, arranged by my father. Elio, I was so afraid of my father, of contradicting him, showing him my true colors… that’s why I went on with it. No protest.Then, summer happened. You happened, and everything in my life was thrown off balance – in a good way. I never knew someone could mean so much to me. Never did I think about my problems back home when I was here in this little town, with you. Everything was blissful. I was so happy."

“Oliver…”

“Please, let me finish.”

Silence. The older one took this as his cue to continue. “I never meant to hurt you, which I know I did. Not only because I could sense the hurt in your voice when I broke the news, but also because your parents told me during the few calls we had the past couple of days.” 

“You called?” Elio couldn’t hide his surprise. He didn’t know the older had been calling.

Oliver chuckled humorlessly, “yeah, I called. Several times. I needed to know that you were okay… I’m so sorry, Elio. Hopefully, you can forgive me after this.”

“After what?”

“After I break this other news to you…” Silence. Oliver looked as nervous as Elio had been feeling earlier. “I–I called the wedding off. I’m not getting married. Not now, not ever… unless it’s you, of course. Oh, would that change things. If it was you who I were to get married to – I mean, if we could ever get married–, I would agree in a heartbeat. No questions asked. Do you know how much you mean to me?” Oliver caught himself before he blurted more things out. He realized, belatedly, that he gave too much away, without waiting for a response from Elio about the matter at hand: the cancelled wedding. He had a hunch, but he wasn’t entirely sure the younger still felt the same way.

“You would want to marry… _me_?” Elio’s voice was so small. It hurt Oliver’s heart.

“Of course, Elio,” responded Oliver instantly.

“This… I don’t know what to say.”

Oliver chuckled, self-deprecating, “it’s okay, I guess. I blurted too much out – again. Sorry… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way, just forget I said that last part. I really don’t want to scare you off even more so.”

The silence stretched for 5, 10 minutes. Elio was so lost in thought, taking the young man’s words in. He had said he’d marry little, old Elio – in a heartbeat. That spoke volumes about how Oliver felt about him. He knew he meant something to him, but not to this extent. He had to admit, it scared him a little, but it also made him unexplainably happy. However, this wasn’t what needed to be attended at the time – the wedding, that. They needed to talk about that. So, Oliver wasn’t getting married. Oliver wasn’t getting married, Oliver wasn’t–, “wait, WHAT? You’re not getting married!?”

Oliver was startled, but responded with a little laugh, “yes. Definitely not getting married.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Oh my God…”

Then, more silence. But this time, Oliver couldn’t take it. He spoke, in an attempt to stir the conversation if only for a little while, “uh, so… what was it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Oliver, I can’t believe this,” said Elio. The aforementioned remained silent, with an unreadable expression on his face. The younger continued, “you’re not getting married. Wow, okay. This is some news.”

Several emotions crossed the older’s face all at once – confusion, hurt, confusion again, _hope_ … that silver of hope shone dimly in his blue eyes. “I know.”

“This is what I’ve been meaning to talk to you, for a while now… about the wedding.”

“…Oh?" 

Elio smiled, “yes. Remember during the phone call, when you asked me, ‘ _do you mind’_?” Oliver nodded. “Well, I did. I do mind. A lot. I didn’t have the courage to speak at the time, but all I wanted to do was tell you that I really minded, that I didn’t want you to get married to her – to anyone, for the matter. I wanted to throw a fit. To plead, to make you reason. I’m so relieved… I can’t believe this. You’re not getting married, after all…”

“Elio… you should’ve said something. At that moment, I was hoping against hope that you’d say exactly as you’re saying now. I thought–a part of me thought that you didn’t care much that I was getting married… that maybe I didn’t mean as much to you as you did to me. This made me doubt, and made me continue putting up a dumb façade about who I was, pretending to be all on board with this wedding. I was so miserable though, and Marian noticed.”

“Marian?”

“Yeah, Marian. She’s the girl I was going to get married to. Great person, that one. Good friend, too. She’s not you, though.”

“Friend?”

“Yes. You know how I told you this was an arranged marriage by my father?” Elio nodded. “She’s a childhood friend, daughter of my parents’ friends. She’s always been good to me, even knowing that I would never love her like she did. This is why we were on and off – I kept breaking up with her. But then we also kept making up, because I was always so afraid to tell my father that I didn’t want to marry her. Even more so to tell him I wasn’t much interested in women altogether.”

The younger remained silent. Oliver continued, “but, as I said, then you happened, and I was ready to go against my dad, no matter the consequences. Actually, I thought my father had other more important things to attend, because he never again mentioned the wedding – until December. He handed me a ring, and said I had to propose to Marian now, for we were to get married next spring. Even though I knew this was coming, I was shocked. The next day is when I called. I knew I was going to finally confront my dad, but I just needed some sort of support… reassurance that I still somewhat mattered to you. And when you didn’t show any apparent sign of protest… I was crushed.”

“I had no idea…” Actually, maybe he did. The emotion Elio had caught in Oliver’s voice when he said ‘ _Do you mind?_ ’ had been, in fact, hope.

“It’s alright, I suppose. After being miserable for weeks, Marian was the one who encouraged me to go after you. As I said, she’s a good friend. Naturally, I told her about you. She was the one who got through my thick skull the idea that, even though you didn’t protest, you most likely still cared about me deeply. In a way, I’m here because of her.”

“I wouldn’t have expected any of this… Oliver, I actually know very little about you. You know a whole lot more about me than I do about you. But you know what? That doesn’t really bother me. This–this news… it opens a door of opportunity to get to know you better.”

“Yes, it does. I was hoping to hear something along the lines. So does this mean you still, uh, care about me?”

“Of course I do, Oliver. I never stopped.” Both of them knew, deep down, that ‘care’ didn’t do justice to their actual feelings – but it was okay, for now. “I might still be a little naïve, but I know how to tell when a feeling is genuine or not. What we had, still have, this connection… it is so precious, so special. I know I’m still young and all, but I’ve never shared with anyone else what I share with you, Oliver." 

“I know what you mean. I feel that too, and I too haven’t felt this connection with anyone else.”

They both smiled at each other. Then, Oliver leaned in, and kissed Elio chastely on the lips. The younger barely had time to respond to the kiss before it ended, but it didn't really matter. Everything would be okay. They still needed to talk about a lot of things, like Oliver’s family, his father, what would happen after Oliver left in a week… but that could wait.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, when Elio woke up, he was warm all-over – and not just because of the thick duvet covering him. Oliver was sleeping soundly next to him, with one arm wrapped around Elio’s middle. His other arm served as the younger’s pillow. Elio smiled softly, and finally opened his eyes. He tried to adjust to the sunlight coming in from the window, which wasn’t so difficult considering it was mostly cloudy outside. He turned his head a little to his left and looked at Oliver. He had missed their nights together. He had missed him a lot. Everything was just as the last time; same passion, same sense of careful carelessness, almost the same level of intimacy… If only, the only thing that slightly shifted was that they were a little more intimate, which had everything to do with their growing affection for each other.

Elio loved Oliver. He’d had an inkling for a while but he’d never really admitted it to himself. The realization didn’t really come as a surprise. In fact, it made him feel a little at ease. His smile widened. He wasn’t sure when it started; maybe it was their first night together, that first time he took Oliver to the berm, or maybe even when he first saw him getting off that taxi all those days ago. It didn’t really matter. What was important was that he could finally pinpoint how he really felt, and could name said feeling without a problem. He was happy.

As if Oliver could feel the younger’s eyes on him, he started to stir. A grunt, then, “what’re you lookin’ at, you goose,” he said with a small smile gracing his mouth. Elio said nothing, but his smile had turned into a full-blown grin. At the lack of response, Oliver stirred again, stretching his legs and the arm that was embracing Elio. When he opened his eyes, he was met with Elio staring back at him, with a look of adoration in his face. It made him shudder.

“Hey. Good morning,” said Elio warmly.

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?”

“Better than this past couple of months, that’s for sure.”

Oliver knew what he meant. He felt like he finally got a good night’s sleep after finally being able to hold Elio in his arms again. “Yeah, me too.” 

“I would suggest we go jogging, but it’s cold outside and I would much rather stay here in bed with you for a while longer.”

The older chuckled in response. They spent about half an hour in comfortable silence, just lying in bed, sharing sweet kisses and holding each other. 

Oliver was drawing meaningless shapes and patterns on Elio’s back with the tips of his fingers, lost in thought. _Have I ever been this thoughtless and reckless_ , he thought. Not that this was a bad decision; in fact, this might have singlehandedly been the best one yet. He had always admired people who fought with all their might to achieve what they most wanted, even if the odds were completely against them. He always wished he could be more like those people. He wished he could be a little bit more like Elio. To Elio, only the opinions of the people he held dearly mattered and, even then, Oliver was sure he would dismiss said opinions if they held him back from what he wanted. To Elio, whatever the world thought about him didn’t really matter, so long as he was okay with himself and his decisions. Granted, his self-doubt could get in the way, but then he’d get back in track; Elio was smart. Then again, Oliver did learn a lot from him. The younger really did rub off on him with his way of seeing things because, after all, the older went against his father’s demands in order to get what he desired, in order to get a chance at true happiness. His dad was pissed when he told him he’d broken off the wedding, and it all became worse when Oliver told him his reasons. His father had spat off all sorts of nasty, hurtful things at him, but he endured it all. His love for Elio pulled him true. Yes, love; Oliver had known all along he loved him. The thing is, he wasn’t sure if the feelings were reciprocated. Sure, he knew the younger cared for him, but Elio was a teenager, who could have very well seen this as fun and games, a causal fling, perhaps. Oliver was in his mid-twenties and mostly knew what he wanted.

“Oliver,” Elio said, interrupting him from his train of thought.

“Yes?”

Elio remained silent for a while, then he spoke. “I–,” he cut himself off.

It looked like he wanted to get something off his chest. Oliver hummed, motioning for him to continue. However, he remained silent. The older began to worry.

“Elio? Is there something wrong?”

The younger was startled. “What? No, sorry.” Pause. “I’m just worried, I guess.” _That, and I love you, and I need you to know, but don’t know how to say it even though in my mind it is so simple and so right_ , he thought.

“About what?”

“About everything. School, the future, you, us. You’ll be going back to the States in a few days. There’s still a lot to talk about.”

“True. But we’ll have time. Don’t worry too much, we’re going to figure this whole thing out. We can make this work. I believe in us. Don’t you?”

God, Elio loved him so much. “Yeah, I believe in us.”

Oliver smiled. “That’s all we need to overcome whatever life decides to throw our way. And yes, maybe it will be difficult with me going back to the States and you having to finish high school, but it won’t be impossible. And you’ll be hearing from me very often – I won’t let you off the hook so easily. We can talk on the phone and write to each other every other day. It’ll only be for a couple of months, then you’ll go to New York for college and we can spend every possible moment together, without caring about what others might say or think. Not even what my dad may say or think. I won’t ever let him get in the way of my, our, happiness ever again.”

Elio remained silent, wide eyes staring at Oliver. The latter smiled faintly, then continued speaking. “As soon as I get back, I could even start looking for places where you could live. Hell, we could even move in together. I mean–if that’s what you would want? I don’t know, but I would love that, really. But maybe I’m getting way too ahead of myself. After all you’ll still only be 18, maybe this isn’t even what you want. I’m sorry, I–” 

“I love you.”

There, Elio said it. Oliver had started rambling, and he was talking about moving in together? And the fact that just the day before he had hinted at possibly wanting to marry Elio if he could? He was just as into this as Elio was – and he couldn’t have been happier. He couldn’t contain his happiness, his adoration for this man; he couldn’t keep these three words to himself any longer. As soon as he said them, he felt lighter, somehow. Content.

“You–what?” Oliver was nonplussed. He knew Elio felt _something_ for him, but he always thought if someone was to say those words first, it would surely be him, not the younger.

“I love you, Oliver. So much.”

“I love you too, Elio. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you, I really do. You make me so happy. Thank you.” In all honesty, Oliver felt like crying. He was beyond happy. He wanted Elio to know just how happy he was, but there weren’t enough words to describe how he was feeling – so he showed him instead. He kissed him with so much love, adoration; a careful and sweet caress to Elio’s lips with his own. When they separated, Elio smiled brightly at him, and Oliver returned the gesture.

They would be okay. Everything would be okay, and they both knew it.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this was good enough... thank you for giving it the time of the day. <3


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